Autism: A Family Experience

I just watched the video in Yahoo! news about the family with 6 autistic children. My heart ache with the family as I am also thinking of JR and JC, my two autistic nephews from my brother Robert (whom I dearly called Mamoy).

Mamoy is the 5th in our 9 brood. In college, he enrolled in B.S. Criminology only to realize in the last term before graduation that he does not really like to work in solving crimes. He then shifted to electronics but never really used it to find a living. He instead take care of tricycles, means of transportation for passengers which is very popular in our city. As he cannot afford to buy his own, our eldest bought one so that he can drive it and have an income – no matter how minute - everyday.

Mamoy married when he was about 27 years old - seemed old enough to settle down but not old enough to be a responsible parent. Much more not responsible and knowledgeable to raise two autistic children. He and his full time wife, Dora, even gone through a long denial period that their children are not normal. They did not listen at first to advises that they should see a specialist.

As a family's breadwinner, Mamoy hardly makes ends meet. We have to literally give him money once in a while. And, the whole family is really struggling. I do not know. My idea is: when you get married, you should see to it to stand up firmly in everything with regard to your own family. As much as possible you must not burden your parents and siblings anymore! But, can we just let Mamoy face this dilemma alone?

JR, his eldest has been officially diagnosed to have autism when he was 4 years old. JC on the other hand was found to have the same brain development disorder when he was 2. All of Mamoy's siblings have been very supportive to them to the best they can be. As mentioned earlier, one of us provided him a livelihood. Another one set an amount in her own family budget to shoulder the children's weekly therapy. Moreover, everyone contributed to build them a concrete house (before having a house, they just rented in a very crowded area in the city that actually seemed to be a squatter's area and then transferred to occupy a very small hut owned by Dora's sister). We also initiated to extend their house to give room for a small variety store - for Dora to attend to while she is taking care of the children. But it did not work. JR & JC usually spoiled the stocks. They even ate some laundry bar soap.

JR and JC used to run around a lot during their waking hours. They were even lost in their village several times which took Mamoy & Dora almost a day to find them. JR has also this habit of breaking the drinking glass with his teeth each time he drunk milk or water. He also liked to eat toothpaste and ketsup a lot. There were also incidences of gasoline drinking. Both of them loved to scream also but they never talk.

The therapy helped very little. The only expert in the city is only for behavioral modification. JR is now 11 years old while JC is 9. They cannot speak. The family is losing hope for the disorder correction. They have been going to a government special school in the city but they stop once in while because of their parents' lack of resources. Sometimes Mamoy seemed to surrender already and give in that this is the fate of his family, so be it! Then, do nothing to improve their situation.

Personally, I am really teary eyed every time I think about them. My heart always ache for JR & JC. I really wonder why they are given this challenge with very little opportunity to raise the children to reach the services necessary for correcting the disorder or at least to live comfortably.

When JR & JC were 6 and 4 years old, respectively, Dora got pregnant again! They kept it from the family at first to the point that Dora fail to show up in family gatherings. When her tummy just took its course to eventually tell about the pregnancy, everyone in the family were secretly blaming ( if not cursing) for their irresponsibility. The probability of having another autistic child is really high! Right now, the child which they named Ken is still less than 2 years old. He can speak a little already. We are all praying and hoping that he will never develop the same disorder or any developmental disorder in any form.

I do not know what this article can do precisely. I have so many reasons in mind: I wanted to let it out my chest. I want to tell the whole world we need help to raise JR & JC. I am also hoping that it could reach researchers and take them as part of their samples (even if they are in farflung southern Philippines), and may be contribute to solve the mystery of autism. I want also to plea for support in whatever way. Or, maybe it is just my way of asking your prayers for them and their parents - for more strength especially in taking care of their severely autistic children each day. I am even thinking now that maybe, this would be the beginning of an educational fund campaign. I do not know.

One thing is for sure: I wanted to help Mamoy more and improve the lives of his children.